Walking Each Other Home

The power of presence

When I hear or see a quote, I copy it. If it touches my heart and makes me think. Lately I am reflecting on people who’ve touched my life and helped shape my journey. Hemingway said, “What we truly need is the power of human connection: a quiet presence, a gentle touch that reminds us we’re not alone.”

Life has given me many twists and turns. My mom became physically disabled when I was 10 or 11. But she was just my mom. Always my mom. She’ll be gone 23 years this year. Losing your mom is hard at any age. I miss her every day. Her presence gave me hope and courage. Every day, prior to her disability limiting her mobility , she’d leave me a message on my blackboard in my bedroom. “Good morning P. Hope you have a great day! Love, M.” When she could no longer make it to my third floor bedroom because of her disability, she left the messages on my lunch napkin. “Good morning P. Hope you have a great day. Love, M.” What a boost to my day. What a connection. What a presence.

Years later, as mom became unable to live alone or care for herself, she came to live with my husband and me. Never any question. We learned we always take care of our own. Mom’s presence gave us great joy and lots of laughs. Her first night after moving in I got in bed and whispered to my husband “This is different.” To my dismay, my mother answered from her room!! Ut oh!!! What happened to the walls? How did she hear that?! Stay on your side of the bed, I told Jim!!

Mom’s presence brought a renewal of traditions and created new ones. She was my greatest cheerleader. She was my biggest headache. Tired after working all day she’d say, “Can you give me a shower?” Ugh…of course. She felt like a burden, and I would remind myself that someday I would miss this time. Shower time became caring time, gentle time. Laughing time.

How does the spouse cope. Well….it took time. But my husband became the true son. One day during a bad health episode, she whispered to him, “take care of my baby.” Tears everywhere. She was his copilot in the car as I took advantage of naps, and his co police radio reporter. We became the three musketeers.

So as I contemplate her presence in my life, I am grateful for her lessons. Keep moving forward. Have courage. Have faith. Love each other. Take care of each other. Be not afraid. Walk each other home.

Today, I say to you mom…”Dear M. I hope you are having a great eternity in heaven. Thank you for showing me how to face adversity. How to love tradition, laughter and life. How to have courage and selflessness. Miss you. Have a great day. Love P.”